recklessly dreaming

While I haven’t posted for a reasonably long time, it is among the many things things that have been on hold. In fact, as I write this, I am enjoying some of the first downtime I have had since the last post. So for those of you that live afar (or right now potentially near - since I am sitting at Pete’s back in Texas - a great geographical change from my home on the west coast) here is a small sampling of the things that have l have consuming my life:

• starting my second year in malibu
• moved offices
• saw two good malibu friends move on (and most likely more ahead)
• being on three championship softball teams (in fact our team is the only winner in the history of the malibu city league)
• being on the founding committee for the malibu celebration of film festival (which included an invite to a dinner/screening of Prairie Home Companion/honoring and Q/A session with Robert Altman just a month before he died. He was fantastic and splendid - we sat just behind him and his wife - it was an amazing opportunity.)
• ‘teaching’ a film class
• working on my graphic skills (you should see my current advert for next semester’s film class)
• translating one generation to another and walking that fine line
• mucking in New Orleans - still so much to be done, so many people have been forgotten.
• performed my first wedding
• worked the passion conference (and worked security for Leeland - nominated for a grammy, no I had not heard of them before, but you should check them and their cd- Sound of Melodies - out.)
• taking kids (read college students - 40 of them) camping in the middle of winter - I believe their exact words were “I almost died.”
• got to spend time with quality people like Tony Jones and Derek Webb (Pepperdine has amazing resources and brings in great people for its students)
• sat on the beach just to hear the sound of the ocean (so much better in person - such a great place for calming/centering)
• found a green dry cleaners nearby
• got on a plane to go to texas and eat (read mexican food, bbq, and other things you can’t get on the west coast) and see people and do nothing

So that is the sampling. Right now I am reading and writing - since getting on the plane I have read Rob Bell’s new book Sex God and Sarah Cunningham’s Dear Church: Letters from a Disillusioned Generation - both of which I recommend. Mark already has my copy of Sex God - while it didn’t quite measure up to his first work (Velvet Elvis), he did a good job of wrestling with a topic(s) that the church historically hasn’t done a good job (or any job) conversing about. I highly recommend Dear Church - highly. It is perhaps the best book I have read in awhile (and I am a reading). Sarah does a fantastic job of describing the twentysomethings (who they are and their feelings toward church - also owning that labels and categories are something they abhor) and not letting anyone off the hook. She writes from a place of love for the church - and because of that love wanting conversation rather than claiming ‘everything is fine.’ She challenges all and while belonging in the twentysomethings, does not find herself an innocent party. It is a great read and I will be getting copies for several people.

Maybe more posts to come soon. Being away from campus is giving (and forcing) me to have more time to sit and be and do those things that are forced to take a back burner when you live where you work.

If you are in Abilene, I am here until Wednesday night - the cell is the same

-j

“Being right” is something that stopped being appealing to me several years ago. Don’t misread this to say that I don’t care about truth. I am in a constant search for truth, but the days where things have simple answers or just one layer are long gone. If anything I ask more questions than ever before. Truth is big enough for the questions, truth is big enough for the dialogue. Truth is too big to be limited by one group of people. Truth is too big to be limited by one time and place and culture and….

In twenty years, I don’t want to believe exactly what I do now. If that happens, I will have stop looking, learning, and questioning.

These past few months I have been able to get back into doing several things that I love. One of them is being able to write and then give it (teach/preach/talk) - especially to my college students.

The past Wednesday, I did the second of these with my student leaders – FREEDOM. I have been thinking about freedom since leading a group at Kadesh this summer where the theme was freedom.

It is amazing how Americanized this idea of freedom has become. I spent the first part of our time together debunking this individualistic, William Wallace, power driven version of freedom. Maybe my frustration at this is rooted in the prevalence, during my lifetime, to view war and violence and oppression as the means and method for freedom. Maybe it is rooted in this idea that our way is better and this one size will fit all.

On the other hand, maybe it comes because I live in a place where people have the epitome of what it means to be free according to the American version of freedom but I watch them live lives that are bound by so many things and long for freedom. Maybe when I look at John 8:31-47, I see us (however you want to define us) today – where we can’t see that we have a cheap version of freedom.

When I started working on my talk about freedom, I asked several of my students what came to mind when I said the word freedom. The dominant response was Braveheart (that pre-battle, St. Crispin’s day-esque speech) and if you google ‘freedom’ you are bombarded with red, white, and blue images.

Granted Braveheart shows great passion, sacrifice, etc. But, the more I read scripture, the less I see freedom. For me it all falls apart when freedom is something that you can get on your own (or with buddies). When it is something that if you just have enough power, strength, might – if you just fight hard and long enough freedom is yours. It is a freedom to and for the powerful - freedom that is rooted in the harm of others.  I read John 8 and find that people are set free and they don’t achieve it on their own – that it is something that happens to you but that you can’t do yourself. I read in Mark and the man who was possessed by a legion of demons and was set free. It is a freedom that once someone is set free it not just for them, but for others.

My intern finished us out as he painted a picture of what real freedom looks like and is lived out.

As I write this there is a commercial for Chase credit cards talking about freedom – the images are  an island, a vacation, and $100 bills – what is the cost of buying into this as freedom.

This is where i live. Nights like this keep me centered.